Oh yea baby. 18. An adult. Totally legal. Totally cool. Totally scared.
I wanted to make a post not only about the things I’ve learned in the last year, but things I learned as a “kid.” My 17th year of life was literal shit. Like S-H-I-T. The amount of drama and backstabs and breakups and melt downs I had, more than the Kardashians. So bad. But with a bad year comes some dope lessons. And I’m here to share them with you. And while the followers on my blog are literally all ranges, I mean people all the way from 9 to 65 I figured everyone could still take some advice.
Oh and by the way, my posts are getting 10k views and nothing creeps me out and confuses me more than so many people reading what I have to say and then dming me on instagram asking for me to post more??? Like why me?? A teenager from Indiana who finds joy in sneaking into hotels and drinking red bull and coffee at 2am. Super weird. But I’m trying to go with it, I’m just so lazy. It takes cereal and some iced coffee for me to be able to sit down and write a blog post. So here I am. About to share my life in 18 lessons. And it’s about to get personal. So take seat and listen to me spill the tea.
LESSON 1- LISTEN TO YOUR FREAKING MOM, UNLESS SHE REALLY ISN’T ONE TO BE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO.
I get it. Not everyone has a mom that they can trust, talk to, even live in the same house as. Sometimes parents continue making the mistakes that a teenager is supposed to only make once. Drugs, alcohol, abuse. I get it. But in most cases, fortunately, your mom is a beautiful, intelligent, stable woman who can read someone better than anyone else. And I’m just letting you know: they’re literally almost right. Like 9/10 times they are right. That boy that cheated on you? Yep, my mom called it. The girl that chugged vodka in my basement in 4th grade? Yeah, mom said she’s bad news. The party you begged to go to and soon called your mom to get you out of it because it was THAT BAD? Yes, she told me something bad was going to happen. But me? Listening to my mom? Noooooo. “But mom he would never cheat on me, he cares I swear!!” “Mom, she didn’t know that the bottle that clearly said vodka on it was vodka!” “Mom please let me go to a party with all these people I don’t vibe with, I can handle it.” Yeah, no cass. You were WRONG.
Every shitty boy I dated or every friend that stabbed me right in the back my mom told me she had a bad feeling about it. But she never stepped in until she had a reason to. And sure enough things got baaaaddd. Not only bad like I was crying my eyes out, heart broken and all, but the situations I was in weren’t safe. Like I genuinely was not in safe environments. And mom stepped in to be superwoman and got me out of them. And man if she didn’t step in when she did, it could’ve gotten bad.
Moral of this lesson, listen to your mom. I know she annoys you, might make you feel the world’s worst kid ever, might make you question if living on the street would be a better option. But dude, sometimes they really know what they’re talking about. And don’t even come at me with “Things are so different from when they grew up, she wouldn’t know.” Sure their cellphones were 10 times too big and they had the worst hair ever but girls were still mean, and boys still went and cheated with your best friend, and parties still resulted in the cops being called and accidents happening from drinking and driving. SO DON’T EVEN. LISTEN TO HER PLEASE.
LESSON 2- PEOPLE CHANGE. LET THEM PROVE IT TO YOU.
I used to believe no one changed. You did one thing to me or said one thing that really pissed me off and that was it. You were dropped, never given a second chance. And I missed out on some really awesome people. I listened to the rumors and judged by one situation. And it was wrong. Really wrong. People CAN change. It’s no different then you changing, hopefully for the best.
My mom and I recently went through a rough patch. Both of us were convinced neither of us would change. She would always do things that pissed me off and I would do the same. And in the last month, we’ve both changed. We shared with each other what we would do that would upset each other and we changed. We realized that yeah, we both said some shitty things and did some terrible things. But we changed. And it proves that people can change, in such a short amount of time. You have to give people a chance to show you they changed. The girl that stole my seat at lunch in 7th grade, she ended up being my best friend. The girl that ditched me almost everyday for a boy sophomore year? I talk to her and her mom almost everyday.
Obviously in some cases, it’s not worth letting people prove they changed because they screwed you over that bad. But don’t be petty about, don’t hold the grudge or talk shit. Just move on. Because some people aren’t meant to be in your life and that’s okay.
LESSON 3- LITERALLY, WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK. YOU DO YOU BABY!!
Do you know how long this took me to learn? I was such a follower. Like oh she parts her hair that way? I should do that too. She told me she hates the color red? I probably should never wear my red converse again.
I finally am at the point in my life where I do whatever I want, regardless of what people think or what people say. And I’ve noticed so many people are starting to catch on too. It’s 2018, do whatever makes you happy!!
Don’t get me wrong there are days that I still overthink if I should do something because of what other people want. Some example for ya: Bootaybag asked to collaborate with me and how cool is that?? But why me? I’m not famous, I don’t have 15,000 followers on instagram, I don’t post that cool of pictures. I totally was going to get judged. And I almost denied the offer all because of what people that I don’t even go to school with would think?? And then I thought, why do I care? This is super cool, I get some free underwear, why wouldn’t I do this? So I did it. I’m sure people judged, thought it was weird that I got asked to collaborate instead of them?? But girl I did that!! Now I’m working with some of the coolest people ever.
This blog scared the crap out of me to do. I blogged about a year ago, I was balls deep into that blog. And I stopped. Some people thought it was weird. More people thought it was super dope than those who didn’t, but those people who didn’t like it seemed to be more important. All I saw was the negative aspects to me blogging. So I stopped. And a few weeks ago I realized I really missed writing. Like I almost went to school to study this! And I started it back up. And this blog has blown up!! I’m getting emails from companies asking me to make posts about them, people message me on instagram requesting certain posts. Yes, I’m sure people are talking about, saying how dumb it is or whatever. But, quite honestly, I just don’t care.
And this applies to so many other people. A girl from my school, funniest chick ever, started a youtube channel of her literally just posting funny videos. It’s so cool. I don’t even know if she realizes I watch every video. My best friend Mady is so good at makeup. Like amazing. And she started an instagram page just for her makeup looks she does. And she ended up doing makeup for a wedding?? All because she was so talented and she let people see that. So yeah girl, you start a youtube channel for those cupcakes you know taste great, start a soundcloud to share the music you create, post tweets that make you twitter famous. One day you’ll regret it if you don’t do what you love.
LESSON 4- BE FRIEND WITH WHO YOU WANT. WEIRD, TRENDY, NOT POPULAR, POPULAR, BE FRIENDS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU VIBE WITH.
This year especially I really let loose with who I’m friends with. I was really picky on who I associated with. She wears too much makeup, she doesn’t wear the same clothes as me, she listens to country music. Bye. But now I’m friend with such a wide variety of people. Seriously I don’t even have a set group. I just hang out with whoever I feel like. Older, younger, pale, tan, girly, tomboy, I vibe with them all. (Let’s start keeping track of how many times I say vibe??) My best friend is two years younger than me, heck I consider her 8th grade sister one of my friends. The girl I’ve known since 1st grade that everyone told me not to be friends with, I love. Made friends with a girl in my prom group that I didn’t even know her name until the end of the dance. Showed up at a party with one person I knew and left knowing everyone there.
I’m already such a people person. I go up to random people and tell them we should be friends. A girl messages me on Facebook that’s going to the same college as me and we literally FaceTime and text each other everyday complaining about not having money to go shopping. My friend’s boyfriend, who I hated a few years ago, literally one of my best friends now. Randomly met a girl from a different school, totally love her.
And these friends I have are great ones. They aren’t ones to pick and choose when they wanna be my friend. We check up on each other, make sure they have enough conditioner, make sure they’re fed and their boyfriends are treating them right. We go days, weeks without hanging out and still pick up like we saw each other yesterday. I mean my best friend is in Texas training for the air force, didn’t have his phone for two months, and randomly facetimes me like it’s not big deal. Yes it’s a big deal. I’m in Mexico at the pool crying my eyes out because I’m finally talking to him. Good friends make the world go around. So be friends with whoever you connect with, don’t force friendship. If it’s forced, it isn’t real. And have variety. Have friends that you can party with and do things you shouldn’t do and have friends that you watch youtube videos with for 4 hours.
LESSON 5- YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE PLANNED OUT. GO WITHT THE FLOW.
UGH, I WAS SO GUILTY OF THIS UNTIL A FEW MONTHS AGO, I SWEAR. I’m at a time in my life where things are really changing. I’m going to college, literally the last step before I am out in the world, doing what I’ve always dreamed of doing. But what do I dream of doing? Writing, fashion, nurse, photographer? Ask me how many times I’ve tried to change my college major? Enough times that the girl I email to change it for me seriously begins her email with, “Cassidy you’ve changed your major five times before college hasn’t even started. Take a deep breath and stop planning so much.” And my response usually goes, “I know I wanted to be a nurse last week, but now I’m really into being a dentist so everyone keeps their teeth clean.” That is me in a nutshell. I am going to college in five months AND DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO. What if I graduate a journalism major and want to go into marketing instead? What if I become a fashion designer and decide I hate it but don’t know anything else? Well, jokes on me. Half of the time people have a job that doesn’t have anything to do with their major. And my grandma told me, “When you take a class for a certain major you’ll just know that’s what you want to do.” And finally I’m okay with not knowing. Am I going into school as a journalism major? Yes. Is my heart set on fashion design though? Yes. But I’m not changing my major, cause I never know what I like and don’t like unless I experiment.
Me, also being me, decided that I will meet my long haired soulmate in college, have a job right out of college, and have kids starting when I’m 24 in order me to be a hot mom. I learned that planning things usually ends you disappointment because the reality of it is things will happen when it’s supposed to.
So if you’re in the same situation as me, which I know a lot of people are, chill out. Go with the flow. Don’t plan too much, don’t force things. Unless you’re really planning on marrying Harry Styles. Then it’s totally acceptable to have your wedding planned on pinterest.
LESSON 6- NICE IS TRENDY, MEAN IS OUT.
BE NICE. How hard is it. I have a super low tolerance for disrespectful people. I can’t stand people that judge, put others down, I can’t do it.
Life is so much better if you’re a happy, accepting person, and sadly there aren’t too many of those people around anymore. Don’t surround yourself with people that put you down, and more importantly, don’t be the person to put others down. So much more comes out of treating others with respect. I’m not saying be friends with everyone, but don’t be bitter. Your attitude says so much about you. People are attracted to those who have a good heart. Life is too short to go around trying to make others feel like shit. If you are in that low of a place in your life that you have to hurt others to heal yourself, stop. In the end, you’ll still be at that low point because the people you need the most are going to be distance. People move away from negativity, hurtfulness, it builds a wall. So be nice. Smile, say hi, let others think you’re doing good, because doing good creates good. Don’t be the girl that people look back and say, “Dang, that chick really was the worst.”