HEY HIGH SCHOOL, XOXO (FRESHMAN YEAR)

Yeah I said it, XOXO HIGH SCHOOL AND A BIG F YOU!!!

The last day of school is in two weeks. 10 more school days. Even though I graduated early, I feel like I get to celebrate my last day of school twice, one all by myself and one with all of my friends. Super cool. High School was my hell on earth, I think it was for my parents too. The amount of tears, anger, stitches, and nervous break downs that I went through is INSANE. High School = not my cup of tea. I lived for the social part of it, the learning part really just kicked me in the ass. But what am I sitting here doing? Writing FOUR blog post all about it. My high school story, ladies and gentlemen:

Freshman year was as bad as when Miley Cyrus released her “Don’t Stop” music video, literally. To start things off, I wasn’t in high school my freshman year. I was at the “freshman campus” across from the main campus. SO many stairs, no windows, dim lights. Everyone in my grade can back me up on this, IT WAS TERRIBLE. It was another year of junior high.

I went in to freshman year with my friends from 8th grade, and threw in a couple extras along the way. We were so cool. Braces, sweatshirts and running shorts everyday, no idea on how to do makeup. It was me, Claire, Lindsey, Kayla, Nicole, Court, and Chloe. A SQUAD. We went to football games all decked out in the theme, walked to every game, got shoved towards the top of the stands. Here’s a picture to prove it:

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Inside school, I was just a 4’10 white girl with no self confidence and too high of expectations. High school musical fail, quite honestly. While I can’t remember much of freshman year here’s what I know:

  1. I was the soccer team SLUT. Had a crush on them all, had a “thing” with like four of them. I also had gym class with literally half of the team. Four girls, the rest: the soccer team. 9th grade Cassidy’s dream. Always got picked to be on their team for games, wiped out in front of them, went into the boys locker room saying I was “asking the boy gym teacher a question.” I was THAT girl. I think I got the most support from the soccer team. I said “shit” in front of the gym teacher and he made me do the flexed arm hang for 2 minutes and they cheered. What can I say, THEY LOVED ME.
  2. I would curl my hair every friday. It was the only day I didn’t wear a sweatshirt and neon running shorts. And I wore the same outfit every friday: baggy jeans, pink walmart shirt, scarf, and UGG boots. Bobby pinned my hair back and I was good to go. I would pay to still have the pictures of me in this outfit.
  3. I would fake sick all the time to get out of presentations. I hated talking in front of the class. I would walk into class after playing sick for a week and act like my voice was gone just to get out of presentations. One time, I gave a presentation with my head buried in the podium which resulted in no one being able to hear me and a bad grade. Shoutout Mrs. Buzzard.

And then second semester came. I got my tonsils taken out over Christmas break and I guess while that happened all my friends decided “Cassidy has no tonsils and she also doesn’t have friends anymore.” I had NO FRIENDS. Not one. Except Courtney. Here’s a picture of the night I got ditched and hung out with my sister and her friends instead:

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I was so alone. I cried in my closet, I cried every night about going to school. I would send texts to my mom from the bus saying “Why are you making me go???” And from there my anxiety and outlook on high school totally changed. I was an anxious mess. Quite honestly, I think I went through depression. I had to start seeing a therapist just to get me through the rest of the school year.

A pretty girl sat in front of me in English first period and I felt so ugly around her, I took it upon myself to leave class crying about it. I started dressing different just to be a little less ugly. I stopped smiling with my teeth because braces did me no justice. I walked alone to every class, I can’t even remember who I sat with at lunch. Sometimes I ditched lunch. I was that loser girl you see in the movies.

BUTTTTT… while this was all happening, I cut my hair and got my belly button pierced. And who wanted to be my friend now???? Yeah, still no one. I hung out with my sister every friday night. Probably because I wore low rise shorts and crop tops and on top of that, had my hair parted like Donald Trump.

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Summer after freshman year wasn’t any better. Really did nothing. BUT I GOT MY BRACES OFF so of course I posted three selfies a day and got a total of 13 likes on them so really, my life was really looking up. I made a new friend. Madi. She was younger, but we went to one direction concerts and had sleepovers ALL the time. Friend count: 2

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and all I could do is thank god for getting me through my first year of high school. Never would I wish having no friends and anxiety even thinking about school on anyone. Sorry grandma but: Fuck you freshman year.

TRENDS MY FRESHMAN YEAR: White high top converse, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift twitter fight, ALS Ice bucket challenge, Alex from Target, ombre hair, the word “Bae”,  ask.fm, and a classic: snorting smarties. 

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